I don't have a self-esteem problem...I have a lack of recognition that my life is more meaningful to the world than they know

I don't think I have a self esteem issue...it is more of a nobody knows what I've been through...I haven't changes the world like I feel my story should...

I feel like I've been telling my story to all the wrong people and I can't help but to tell my story and people are tired of hearing it...but I just gotta tell it...but to who? That is the mystery....everyone I tell it to...are sympathetic but that is far from what I want....I want my life to change their lives as well as everyone else's lives in the world...but it just pushes those around me away...and leaves me alone...and I hate being alone...I feel I'm letting God down because my story isn't doing what I think it should and it was all a waste and worthless and it was all for nothing...I went trough all I went through for just the fun of it and for absolutely nothing and it was no point at all to it all...I let y'all down...and I'm sorry I failed to change the world...
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo D

PS. Does anyone else out there feel this way?

Living life through a tiny phone screen vs. experiencing life in the moment

I can't help but realize that most people are looking at their phones out in public and probably no doubt at home also. Events where our children are singing, playing sports, or even playing at the park we have that phone up in our face as we either video record or take pictures and telling social networks where we are and doing or just playing a game or using an app of some sort instead of being in the moment and enjoying the here and now we feel we need to document these moments as if we will lose them forever if we don't. What did people do back before photographs or video cameras? What is that? oh they kept a journal at the end of everyday?

Dear Journal/Diary,
Today we went to a park that we never been to before and the kids really enjoyed it think we will return someday soon. It was at .......

They would write instead of posting it on their walls on the internet for everyone on their friends list (or public depending on the settings they have on their posts and if they "checked in" at a public place which makes their posts publicly viewed on the page of said locations.

Anyway, I am tired of living my life through a tiny phone screen...I feel like I am missing out on life trying to capture it all. Only all these digital pictures/videos end up on social networks instead of having them printed at a photo place or with a photo printer at home...what a waste of time...If I printed all the pictures I have taken over the last 11 years I would have enough pictures to fill hundreds of picture albums if only I had time to get them printed and placed in said picture albums.

Today's way of living is starting to make me realize that I am really missing out on life. More importantly being present in my children's lives and moments of fame (singing programs, and sports events etc.) stuck behind a tiny screen.

I want to challenge the public to put the phones down. No don't leave them at home, just have them to be reached and be able to reach someone if the need arises but don't use it but to call people or answer a call when they call...if you text...those can wait until you are not in a moment where you need to be present...that is the beauty of texts...you can answer whenever you can vs. right away. If it is something urgent then they should of called you instead and will eventually give up on texting you and call you.

Anyway, no apps/games/social media sites/apps etc. just for one week, and only when you are out with your children in public or at home if they are awake and moving around you need to be in the moment and not looking through a small phone screen on it all...

Comment your experience and see how better or worse you feel while being in the moment vs. trying to capture the moments. Write a journal at the end of everyday to document the day's events instead of video taping or taking pictures...after the week is over read these entries and see if you can visualize the said events as if it was a video in front of you. See that isn't that bad of a capture of events in our lives and it exercises our minds. Maybe the cause of Alzheimer's us not exercising our memories enough by relying on technology to capture and keep all these memories for us.

Good luck and enjoy your life for a week and check back here and voice your experience. Thanks!

Bill Nye Debates Ken Ham - HD

After watching all 2 hours and 46 mins basically...I have come to the conclusion that this got Evolution no where as well as Christianity absolutely no where and was a waste of time on both parties as well as my time as a viewer.









I plan to add to this post at a near later date and watch the video and take many notes to point out details that I decided to be the reason I feel this way about the debate. But here are just a few that I do recall that stuck in my mind that made me come to this conclusion.



1. The many different ways to figure out age on rocks and wood coming up with different ages on the same pieces of rock and wood...so that tells me the Scientists claims of how old Earth is not an actual reliable claim. On the other hand (I am Christian just in case you wondering) you have the Bible that you kind of have to take the word for it...which also kind of have to take the word for the scientist who tested rocks etc. Because most of us who are not schooled like those top scientists who are testing these things, so its above our intelligence and understandings we just take their word for it because it just must be because they are smarter than us.



2. Bill kept trying to distract Ken from debate...but Ken stood strong and stayed on topic of questions instead of taking the bait from Bill...I.E. Bill tried to quote Ken in his claim on Animal and man were to be Vegetarian before sin came into the world and Bill said before Noah put the animals on the Ark...um that isn't when Sin came into the world no it was in the beginning when Eve and Adam Sinned by eating from the forbidden tree...the tree of knowledge...which later Ken did address the Animal debate of veg diet vs meat...he stated the fruit bat has teeth that could easily be flesh eaters but they are not they are fruit eaters as well as pandas and they just eat bamboo etc...no meat...yes bears eat both but mainly they eat veg...which was a good point for all this...



3. Ken and Bill did great on attempting to debate a subject IMHO is not up for debate. We should have science in schools yes, but forcing evolution and not allowing Christianity views to be taught so kids can choose which type of scientist they desire to be is wrong. Christian Scientists would have a better compassion towards man kind and curing what we are dying from vs. Evolutionist Scientists would have no compassion towards man but rather trying to debunk the Bible and prove Evolution was real and keep looking for life on other planets, and wasting money and time IMHO. And continuing to research the Earth to debunk the Bible, where as Christian we just accept it as it is and have a passion to make it a better place and focus on the present and the living and desire to help the present situations vs seeking out the past and history to prove something that is a waste of time.



Yes these are my opinions and what I took from the debate...stay tuned by subscribing to my blog for a more detailed opinion on the debate. I am open to comments to encourage me to post more on this video if you want to point out things you noticed in the debate that you think is significant that does debunk one or the other. I am game to read them! I plan to write more at a later date like I said, re watch the video and take notes this time and do my own debate on a blog, so stay tuned! Rate, subscribe, and comment!



Talk to you soon.

Sincerely,

Rabeka Jo

******Update (just copied and pasted my post from the answers in Genesis youtube discussion tab)****

Here is a question that may help explain the difference in age of the Earth Creationist vs Evolution versions:What if the environment (Atmosphere, weather, seasons, distance of sun to earth being different, different pulls from moon, etc.) was severely different than it is today, how exactly would that effect the erosion, decay, and fossilization processes and all that Scientists look at to define how old the Earth is. Could these factors speed up but make it seem older than whatever they are observing actually is? or slow down these processes to make it seem older than it is? You can't prove the atmosphere was a certain way with certain pressures, etc. our atmosphere is no doubt changed since even a Decade or two ago. The Ozone layer is going away, etc. that effects today's observations in natural decay/fossilization/etc. that you look at deep in the soil to try and get an age and date of when it all began. Maybe both Evolution AND Creationism actually are correct. And all this is a waste of time and energy on both parties, a distraction rather, from finding cures to diseases, etc. There are better things everyone could be doing with their time than debating over this.

As a parent though, and a child who went through the school Evolution class and opted out of continuing to listen to the rubbish the science teacher claimed was the only belief system that can be proven. I walked out because she tried to attack Christianity, and other Religions and tried to push those totally off the table, and I as a delicate teenager didn't need that taken off the table because if this is all that life was why live it...you know teens and their drama...I was devastated to even be presented this theory and being told to throw out everything I learned about the Bible because it was just a story not factual, no proof to back it up etc. This was late 1990's...anyway. As a parent I want my children to learn both or have the option to learn both not to be forced to take Evolution as credit requirement but rather Creationist Evolution being another option to count as the same credit and even have the option to take both to compare so they can decide for their selves as to which they wish to believe. 

I really hope that Evolutionist Scientists and Christian Scientists can someday, stop being so critical of the other. Maybe you both are right in some way. Maybe the Earth was here before God decided to do something with it? that is why there is evidence of more aged than Bible states the age it is. who knows. we don't we weren't there and there really is no way of knowing for sure.

There are mistakes done in CSI science. It is not an exact science and the evidence can and often is misinterpreted, as is fossils found deep in the earth, and what they hold. Just saying.

My final words are this: I don't want my children forced to be taught one type of Evolution I as a parent want to choose which Evolution class I wish my child to attend. If majority say Christian Evolution then there will be no need at that school for the Big bang Evolution theory teacher to even be there at the schools. Why don't you see what us as parents desire for our children to be taught vs what you all want to teach them? Since when do we not have a say in what our children are taught? Last time I checked, I am their parent and they are MY child and I should have a say in this and that it not be decided by anyone but me.

Thank you.
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo

Raising the non cooperative limb we call our children

You would think that when we women are pregnant we would realize how we do not control our children and cannot control them no matter what we try to do to make this impossible feat occur. Let me elaborate. OK while pregnant the baby is moving inside of our wombs just going nuts right? So we rush over and have our loved ones or friends put their hands on our bellies to "feel" this miracle moving about and then suddenly, as if the baby knows, they stop moving all together, or just move faintly to where they can't feel what you were feeling moments before and so you sound like you're telling tall tales. Frustrating right? Then when they are babies and even toddlers, we still try to control them and make them do what we want them to do and hope they don't do what we don't want them to do, but never fails they always poo their britches at inopportune moments, they even may poo or pee on you the parent who is innocently changing their diaper, no matter how much we try to mentally tell them or even vocally tell them not to...they still do it.

So why do we keep trying to control this child who is only half our genetics not half our body, not an extra limb for us to direct into doing what we want? As a parent we want what is best for our children, but they just don't get that. They especially Teens think we are over protective and maybe we are but for good reasons. We been through so much as a teen or child even, that we don't want our children to experience the horrible things we went through. But think about it this way, if they don't have these such experiences, what kind of life will they have? Sure won't be like yours that you have, and hasn't all them experiences done you some good? you learned not to do things because of consequences that happened. Sure some were horrible, but they made you stronger right?

We as parents have a huge responsibility, but honestly I think the only responsibility we really actually own is to make sure their needs are met: food, clothing, emotional support, place to live, responsibilities so they learn life skills, make sure they live through their childhood and guidance that is meant for taking or leaving and allowing them to face their own fate and consequences. There maybe others I am forgetting but that is going back to basics and is as basic as it gets.

Teach them, but forcing will never get you far. Rebellion is hard to go through as a parent. Here is your child who you raised and made sure they survived through childhood and you did everything you could to make sure all needs were met, and this is how they repay us?! Thing about Rebellion is, someday they will regret doing it to us, and will warm back up to us and give us unconditional love, and hopefully not drop us off at the old folks home. One can only wish. Of course if we become a handful and are unmanageable we won't grow out of it like a teen does, and there comes a point in our lives we do need someone experienced with our minds and how we are acting etc. and do need the old folks home services because its way too much for our children to manage (I do not blame them its a hard task taking on an elderly parent), I wouldn't blame them if they did set us up with what they believe to be the best care for us.

My new years resolution this year will be to allow my children to be children, within reason, and stop treating them like a reflection of who I am, and stop treating them like an extra limb I can control, and just let them face the life they want to lead and let them learn from it the hard way. I am just turning blue in the face telling them over and over about how things work and don't, and how things may end up if they do decide to do whatever it is they are planning to do.

Being a mother with anxiety though, this seems like something little for anyone to do and maybe I am the only one who is battling this. I just know that I need to let go and hopefully let God teach my boys what I keep trying to preach to them, through experiences that will not hurt them too bad. Anxiety sucks for sure, but hopefully someday I will find something that works to take it away completely so I can do this task a bit easier than now. Just saying it here on this blog sends me in near panic mode (like an 8 or 9 level 10 being panic attack) Yes it is that bad.

Anyone out there feel this hits home? Comment below, tell me your experiences, and tell me if you try to control your children like an extra limb, and if you think who they are reflects on who you are or whatever. I need to know I am not alone in this and would greatly appreciate your comments! If I forgot anything that we as parents are required to do for our children please comment them too thanks!

Talk to you all later,
Sincerely,
Rabeka Jo