Mental Illness

I wrote this while in the mental hospital: When mental illness overrules your life, sorrowful sadness engulfs your every being cutting friends and family out with a knife, because they don't understand. The feelings, the actions, the thinking, the sheer panic is out of your control, and all you seek is a validation of said ailments. Few people are on board, most are not. Faking it until you make it works some but mostly just masks and makes it worse. But the few who know it is real and it is hard are too few and far between. Majority rule over your life is NOT on the same page, they say you don't need meds, you don't need help, you don't need these things. YOU ARE STRONG YOU GOT THIS! BUT I DON'T! I DO NEED HELP! FUCK EVERYONE! I AM NOT STRONG! I AM BROKEN! AND THAT'S OKAY! If it's not Okay with most so be it they can get the fuck out of my life cuz this is MY LIFE and I want a life worth living, cuz this life today, right now, is not worth living! So yeah that was a moment of a sheer outpouring of emotions, and pure internal chaos poured out on paper. Hope this helps someone out there. We will be okay someday, we just have to wait for this internal narrative to get out, then not act upon the thoughts of running away or killing ourselves cuz it will pass believe me it does it may take a few minutes to a few days but in the meantime do your coping skills, coloring books, music, crafting, etc. Whatever you need to do to get through just do not do the things frowned upon, like cutting don't do that...society doesn't understand that outlet so don't do that. I am here for you if you need me to be BUT, if you are male I am sorry you are going to have to find someone else as I get too emotionally involved with that said inquirer. Sorry, not sorry...gotta preserve my marriage at this point in time. I hope you understand. God Bless you! Call the suicide hotline or call the crisis hotline or there is even a texting service just have to be patient with them to text back as it seems to take a bit longer than needed I believe so Crisis needs to be handled by call center but one that can wait through a pretty long waiting period can text. This is MY advice, I am not a professional, and I just am sharing what works and doesn't work for me. Writing is my outlet. I hope sharing my outlet with the world helps at least one person. Because I feel like I am here for nothing, I am going through all this for nothing. I have a story but no one gets the whole share it thing and think I am seeking a pity party and that isn't it I just wanna help someone. If I inspired you please drop it in the comments cuz that is what I want in this life, to be someone that changed someones outlook on life. Thanks, Sincerely, Beka Jo D